Semantics -- I mean...

Now does this guy look moody?

In a recent entry I made some comments about my father's side of the family -- that they were "quiet, introspective, shy and sometimes moody."

She looks a little moody.

I just want to clarify that I don't think of these traits as negative. And anyone who does is really lacking in imagination. Let's get into it.

Quiet: Quiet people make non-quiet people nervous. No one knows what to do with a quiet person in the group. "You're awfully quiet," someone might say. Never, "You're wonderfully quiet." And why not? What's wrong with being quiet? Should we all make noise? Aren't there enough of each of us to balance each other out? Take my older brother, for example. He did not get the quiet gene. He literally talks so fast that his mouth can't keep up with his mind. It has gotten to the point where he doesn't even try to keep up anymore. His mouth keeps up for as long as it can, then just mumbles a bit until it catches up again. He might say to me: "The thing about getting into shape is, it takes longer for your body to get out of shape when you're sick and not working out than yerthnkwilndthnwhnygtbktrnnngagin pause you'll feel better than before you were sick." See -- we balance each other out.

Ethan mid-sentence.

Shy: I read an article once about how shy people were really just self-involved. The theory being that for someone to be shy, they must be thinking about themselves all the time, worrying what people will think of them. If they'd just stop to think about something other than themselves, they wouldn't be so shy.

Right. Only shy people spend half their time wondering what other people think of them. My guess is that outgoing people spend just as much time thinking about themselves and what other people think of them. It might just manifest itself differently. Maybe instead of being shy and nervous, they are gregarious and overbearing, trying to prove themselves to those around them. Again, we balance each other out. If there were only one kind or the other, we'd get really bored.

She definitely looks shy, quiet and moody.

That is assuming that there are only the two kinds. Shy or Outgoing. Quiet or Loud. No shades of gray between the extremes. I don't believe that at all. I suppose we all tend to be closer to one extreme than the other as a rule. But we all have our days. And certain situations bring out the opposite extreme in us, wouldn't you say? When you're really in your element, doing something you love with people you are completely comfortable with, I bet that's when you find yourself in one of those wonderful gray areas.

Introspective: I'll quote my dad on this one and hope he doesn't mind. "...if you take away the other adjectives, introspective sounds downright thoughtful. Pensive, even. Hey, close to, dare I say it? Wise." How true. Introspection -- self evaluation. Examination of one's thoughts, feelings and sensations. Socrates once said, "An unexamined life is not worth living." (Of course, he also drank poison hemlock, so...)

My dad taking pictures of his dad's pictures.

Which transitions nicely to our next topic.

Moody: I think most people mean grumpy or grouchy when they describe someone as moody. But the moods aren't all bad. The moods are sometimes quite good. Which can sometimes be the problem -- extreme highs lead to extreme lows. But those are the extremes. In the meantime, what you're dealing with is someone who is expressive, someone who shows on the outside what she's feeling on the inside. Sometimes she'd rather not show it, and sometimes she tries hard not to show it, to no avail. My friends all tell me that I have no poker face. (And to think I was once an actress.) My moods show. And I'll admit, sometimes I wear them proudly. I'm not sure how to explain it, but I have always felt that all moods, bad or god, have to be felt to the fullest extent possible. Not put on, not faked, not exaggerated. But felt. I guess it has to do with what is real and what is true. You feel what you feel and there's not much to be done about it. You feel. Truly, deeply. Maybe even madly.

So there it is. I am all of those things. I am quiet and shy, I am introspective and moody.

But that's only one side of the coin.

Tune in next time when I dissect my mom's side of the family...

My poor, unsuspecting mother.