The Tough Question

So when you reach moments in life like this one, you have to ask yourself some tough questions. And sometimes it's hard even to know what those questions should be.

I've worked really hard to get here. I've given up a lot. I knew it was going to be hard. I knew I might be pretty miserable a lot of the time.

I didn't know it was going to be completely miserable all of the time. That I would have no life, no money, no fun. I didn't know that I was going to be spending all of my time studying neurology -- as if wanted to be a neuro surgeon, not a speech language pathologist.

Which brings me to my first tough question: Do I really want to be a speech language pathologist?

But I'm not ready for that question yet. I have to start smaller.

Let's get really simple. Bare bones:

What do you like to do?
Sing. Teach. Learn. Laugh. Run.

What are you good at?
Singing, teaching, learning, and laughing. Running, not so much.

What can you make money doing?
Singing. Teaching. (not much, but probably a living)

OK. Good start.

Now, back to the SLP question. How did this all begin?

I was miserable. Much like I am now. But worse -- soul killing miserable. I was working for attorneys, who worked to keep pharmaceutical drugs from going generic and becoming affordable to people like me. It was a hostile work environment. I didn't make enough money. I didn't enjoy my life because I was always working.

So I decided to run a marathon. I decided to do something that would help people. So I ran with Team in Training and raised a few thousand dollars for leukemia & lymphoma research. That felt good. (Other than the broken foot.)

Met an SLP - talked to me about what SLPs do. Decided I'd be good at it. Decided I wanted to have a career where I could help people. Took me a while, but I managed to come up with a plan. And that's what I did. That's what got me here.

But along the way I discovered Estill, the voice technique that, more than anything else, has changed my life.

Maybe the SLP thing was a way to get back to singing. Maybe that's all it is. And maybe that's why I feel like I'm wasting my time.