Progress Report (AKA "The Good")

A recent visit from my Uncle Bill made me realize that if anyone were to check my blog, they might think I was in a bad way. My last entry certainly would lead a person to that conclusion. That was, indeed, a very bad day. In fact, the first quarter of grad school was one of the hardest times in my life. It was all just too much.

But, you've heard enough about the bad. Let me tell you about the good.

As I finish up my third quarter of grad school -- that's nine straight months of school for you lucky bastards not on the quarter system -- the light at the end of the tunnel is finally beginning to come into view. Just a glimmer, just around the corner. Sometimes something steps in front of it and I lose sight of it, but it's out there.

If what the second-year students tell me is true, the worst is over. The first three quarters are hell, but then you start to actually feel like you're doing what you came here to do.

For example, this summer, I will spend one full day every week observing at a voice clinic. I will also have more clients, and possibly be placed in an outside site where I'll learn what it's like to be a speech-voice-language pathologist in the real world. (I'm told that in the real world the reports you write are never 10 pages long -- more like two. That alone is reason to celebrate.) This summer I will also be teaching an undergraduate course in Language Acquisition. I'm really psyched about teaching. Of course, I'm used to teaching one-on-one voice lessons, so who knows how that will transfer over to a 70-student class.


Speaking of teaching, I now have four regular voice students of my own (all paying customers!). If I had the time, I'd have more. Thursday afternoon at 4:00 I see my language client, and then Friday afternoons I teach voice. Those are the happiest hours of my week. My language client told me recently that he doesn't think he's ever done so well in reading as he's doing with me. Granted, this could be the result of any number of things, but if he's willing to give me some of the credit, I'm willing to take it. And at least once a week I share a moment with a voice student who discovers something new and wonderful in his or her voice. I hate to sound too cliche, but WOW those moments really do make it all worth while.

So I'm OK. It has been tough, but I'm really OK. Life still has its ups and downs, as it always will. But in some ways I'm better than I've ever been. For the first time in my life I know without a doubt that I am doing what I need to be doing. I am on the right track. And, if I can get a bit cheesy again, I know myself -- and like myself -- better than ever before. And the future, whatever it may hold, looks pretty damn bright.

OK, now that I've gotten that out of the way, let me tell you what sucks about my life right now (seriously -- you'd worry if I didn't complain, right?).

I have no social life. This has to change. Lack of social life has been a chronic problem for me for a few years now, and it really has to change. Grad school is a difficult time to make that change happen -- especially since it meant relocating to a town where I knew no one. And socializing with people from school can often mean sitting around talking about -- school! Not the best break, but a break, nonetheless. So as I head into part 2 of grad school where the worst is (fingers crossed) behind me, I am making it a priority to have more fun.

That sounds familiar. I feel like maybe I've said that before.

The SLP program is still a mess, and the worst thing about it is that the powers that be all know that it's a mess, and they seem pretty much fine with it. Friday night after the annual departmental banquet, the words I wrote in my journal went something like this: Depressing. Disappointing. Just dismal. Maybe next year when the banquet will mark the nearing of my own graduation, it will mean something to me. But this year, it was just a waste of 20 bucks.

However, I did have fun getting ready for the banquet when a few friends came over to have a few pre-banquet drinks while Katie and I got ready. We decided to look like girls for a change and actually got dressed up and wore makeup (hence all the pictures on this post -- look -- I'm even vogueing for you below. Gotta give a shout-out to Kristen for helping me with my makeup and supplying the brown liquor.). Unfortunately the getting ready part was a lot more fun that the going part.

But at least now, for the most part I'm actually learning about things that matter. So that's an improvement. And as for having more fun, I guess I can't expect that to happen if all I ever do is sit in my oversized chair and study.

Take today, for example. It's a beautiful day in my beautiful neighborhood. The park down the street is having some sort of spring planting celebration. Everyone is out walking a dog or playing or running. I could do that.

Of course, I also have to write a progress report (10 pages or so), work on a term paper (20-30 pages), and finish a case study. Oh, and catch up on reading -- probably about 8 chapters worth. Hmmm...


Decisions, decisions!