Changing Parameters

Sunday, March 05, 2006

The Skinny...


"Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we may die."

Ahh, the good life. Sleeping late, reading or watching movies all day, having a few glasses of wine in the evening while watching a few episodes of 24, and going to bed whenever the mood strikes. That's what I've been up to for the last three weeks. Oh yes, and eating.

The problem with my situation – well, one of the problems – is that I went from being more active than I have ever been to being as sedentary as I’ve ever been. So instead of the fruits of my labor being a skinny, strong body, I have become a pudgy lump. A marshmallow.

If I lift up my right leg (the one with the broken foot on the end of it), and tap on my calf muscle, it simply sways back and forth like the loose flesh on the underside of a plump old lady’s arm. Before the marathon, my calf muscles had gotten too big to zip into my boots. Now, my left boot zips right up. (The only boot my right foot has been wearing is the aircast I’m stuck in for another couple of weeks.)

Now here’s the thing you gotta know about me: I’m never happy with my weight. It has always been a problem, and over the years I have tried to be bothered less by it – and I think to a certain extent that I have succeeded. I have certainly improved. But if you haven’t already guessed, one of the reasons I signed up for the marathon was that I knew in training for it I would lose weight.

I'm usually about 5 or 10 pounds unhappy. I say unhappy, because I've been struggling with my weight for so long and have so rarely been happy with it, that I’ve lost all sense of how much I really weigh and how I actually look. There have been moments in my life – rare moments – but a few where I thought, Hey – this dress looks really good on me! But that thought is usually followed by another one something like, It really hides my enormous thighs!

I’m sick, I know. But not much sicker than most of the women I know. It’s an epidemic.

During the months of training for the marathon, I never reached my ideal weight. I was hungrier than usual and probably ate more than I needed to, especially at brunch after the long Saturday runs. But I felt good. I think I felt entitled to whatever extra weight I carried. I was getting plenty of exercise, so clearly I was supposed to be carrying any weight that didn't come off. Right?

Running the weight off (or trying) on my Christmas Eve run.

Who cares if I'm not skinny -- look how happy... and limber!

Me, Ramon, Tara and Caroline after our 18 mile run.

Me and Mom after a delicious brunch. Of course, that was after the 18 mile run, so I had earned it.

Then, in the last week or so before the marathon, it was time to carbo-load. And I really dug that. I did exactly what the coaches said not to do – I used it as an excuse to eat as much pasta and bread as I wanted. All this while running less and less (actually for me, not running at all due to a mysterious pain in my foot). Of course, I put on two or three pounds and felt uncomfortably bloated. I was looking forward to the race being behind me so that I could focus on losing the weight. Being in such good shape, I knew it wouldn’t take me long.

And then I broke my foot.

broken, sprained and blistered -- ahhh, memories of the marathon!

For the first couple of days with the aircast, I did a few minutes of stretches every day. And then I added some Pilates to the stretching. And I thought, well, at least I won’t be gaining any weight while I’m recovering.

But gradually, for one reason or another (and there are soooo many reasons!), I stopped doing the Pilates. And I only occasionally did the stretches.

And then I came to my mom's.

My mom has never been one of those mothers who has to always be feeding you. We've always been more of a "fend for yourself" household. So I don't usually gain weight when I visit.

But this time is different. And I blame Zack.

My little brother Zack (who in actuality is about 6'2" and probably around 180 pounds, but he'll always be little to me) is serious about eating. I don't have enough patience most days to even fry an egg, but Zack is always ready to cook something up. And with his classes being at night, he and I were often home together during the day. And we got into a routine.


Zack is on the far left -- see how tall -- and he's slouching! (Then me, Grandad, Mom, Ethan)


It started slowly, but before I knew it I was having an egg and cheese sandwich (Zack’s special recipe) for lunch every day followed by pasta with meat sauce for dinner. And then mom started cooking too when she didn't work late: roast pork with mashed potatoes and sour kraut, broiled chicken and buttery sweet potatoes, ham with a creamy potato soup. I'm not used to home cooking. I ate it up. Literally.

On top of that, for Mom’s birthday, Grandad brought a cake and my older brother Ethan brought a second cake AND a delicious lasagna. I was done for. There was no hope for me! The leftovers alone did me in.

And then I got my period. ‘nuff said.

So instead of being my usual five pounds unhappy, I'm -- well -- I don't want to speculate and I'm not getting anywhere near a scale. Let's just say, it's time to go on a diet. (So what did I do this morning when we were out of the cereal I like? I made pancakes.)

All this wouldn't be quite so bad if I were getting any exercise at all. But I'm not. I'm completely sedentary. And WOW -- it really doesn't take long for the body to start conforming to the shape and size of the couch.


Just like me, except that I wear pants. Usually.

So, what do I plan to do about this? Normally I would jump right into a serious exercise regimen. Obviously, that’s not an option for at least a couple more weeks.

That leaves me with weights and floor exercises, like yoga and Pilates.

For those of you who don't know much about Pilates, let me show you a few images to give you an idea of the kind of things one is supposed to do when engaging in Pilates.

This is a Pilates machine:



Clearly I won't be using that contraption. Here are a few more examples:




I don't know what he's supposed to be doing, but that's Joseph Pilates, the guy who came up with the idea.


That looks horrible, doesn't it?

See how easy it is to rationalize your way out of exercising?

Some quotes about exercise:

I believe that the Good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running up and down a street. ~Neil Armstrong on jogging

There's no easy way out. If there were, I would have bought it. And believe me, it would be one of my favorite things!
~Oprah Winfrey (1954 - ), O Magazine, February 2005

Those who think they have not time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness. ~Edward Stanley

Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being, while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it. ~Plato