Wildlife

"No way! You're too slow!" (he seemed to say.)

Just a few minutes ago I tried to take my dog for a mini-walk. We made it out to the porch and he stopped. He wouldn't go! Had no interest in it. Apparently, I hold him back too much!

Here is a look at some of the other wildlife here at my mom's.


Two of my mom's three cats.


I'm happy to say that this guy doesn't live in the house, but my mother has come across him in the woods on occassion! Did you know that there were rattle snakes in Pennsylvania? I didn't know!

Convalescing

So here I am in Pennsylvania Furnace, Pennsylvania, convalescing at my mom's house. I just made it out of the city before it was hit with 27 inches (or more, depending on which of my friends you ask) of snow! Glad I didn't get caught in that. We only got about an inch here, which has already melted.

The idea behind coming to my mom's was that I'd have people to take care of me (my mom and my brother Zack) and no stairs to deal with. Unfortunately, since my arrival on Friday night, my mom has been sick with a nasty flu of some kind. She's been lying around the house coughing and sneezing and moaning and complaining. And not waiting on me! So I've had to fend for myself, and even help her out from time to time! What a gyp! Although it isn't so great for mom either. I'm no pro in the kitchen. The other day she asked me to make her some chicken soup. I forgot to add the can of water. It was a bit salty, to say the least.

But it's not all bad. Things are turning around now that she's getting better. And I've got my little brother wrapped around my finger. Right now he's making me lunch. Nice, right? He's also doing my laundry. And in a few minutes he will walk my dog. Which leaves me all the time I want to sit around and recuperate. Just what the doctor ordered.

With all this time on my hands, I find my mind drifting -- not so much drifting as receiving random flashes back in time to other periods when I wasn't working. The summer after graduation when I was doing OKLAHOMA (where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain) at the local community theater and dating the much-too-old-for-me leading man. That was a fun summer. Or the months I spent here at mom's when I moved away from New York in 2000. I dated the wrong guy then too, but still, it was a sort of fun four months of not working. (If you call reading books like "Finding Joy" and "What Color is Your Umbrella" fun. But hey -- I was really skinny at the time, and that's what's important, right?!)

And here I am again with time on my hands. And as always I find my mind scolding me to be productive, dammit! Get off your ass and do something. Take a walk, get some exercise, weave a basket, learn to juggle -- something. Well, seeing as the reason I have this time off is that I broke my foot, I can't very well take a walk. I don't know how to weave a basket, although I suppose, if I wanted to, I could learn. And I have tried to juggle a number of times, but I'm terrible at it -- and I'm OK with that.

Not that those are my only options. Obviously I have books to read, Soduko puzzles to master, and movies to watch.

But my body is starting to want out. Out of the air cast. Out of the chair, out of the house, out of the doldrums. I find my legs twitching and moving; I've become even more fidgety than I was already. I just want to get up and move!

So I do -- as much as I can. Yesterday I walked the dog around the house once using only one crutch. It was a good start, I suppose. And it helped settle me down a bit. But still, I feel like my body is in some sort of cage and wants to dig its way out.

Obviously there are a lot of positives to having this time off, and I can't pretend I don't appreciate them. I don't have to worry about my job, which stresses me out so much all the time. That's the main perk. I can get away with sitting on my ass while my brother makes my lunch or does my laundry or walks my dog. I can sleep until noon. I can watch soap operas all afternoon. I can read lots of books and magazines or stare out the window at the birds in the trees if I want.

So why am I going so crazy? Part of me feels like I'm getting away with something, and the other part feels like I'm being punished for something. Like I'm grounded. And on top of that, there is the guilt that I always feel when I'm not at work. And that other familiar guilt I feel when I seem to be getting a lucky break of some kind and I can't figure out why or if I deserve it.

But I guess I will never know whether this was a lucky break that I don't deserve. Maybe I do deserve it. Maybe it's a punishment that I deserve.

Or maybe it's just what it is -- paid leave from work due to an injury. It happens all the time. People do take advantage of it sometimes, but that's not what I'm doing. So I'm going to try to stop questioning it and letting it make me nervous. I'm going to just try to make the most of the time off in whatever ways I can come up with, and use it as an opportunity to rest, relax, catch up on things I never have time to do, and, most importantly, to heal.

I can be such a headcase sometimes.

Below are some pictures of what I see when I look out my windows here (except that these were taken in the fall and it's now winter, so obviously it isn't quite this green. But you get the idea).

No Valentines Day For Me?

So I hailed a cab after going to the doctor the other day -- hobbled over on my crutches and tried not to hurt myself stumbling in. The cabbie sees me with my air cast and crutches and says: "No Valentines Day for you!" I said, "What?" And he said, "You hurt -- you come from doctor -- no Valentines Day for you!"

That doesn't seem fair, does it? No Valentines Day for gimps?

As if to say, "We have saying in my country. No one loves a cripple."

The Marathon: In a Nutshell

I’ve spent four weeks trying to write about the marathon, and I just can’t do it justice. So here’s the nutshell version.

The marathon weekend was absolutely wonderful. More fun than I’ve had in a long time. Traveling with the group was great. The marathon was as incredible as I’d hoped it would be. And I broke my foot.

Again, nutshell: My right foot started hurting during the Saturday morning run the week before the race. I hoped it was nothing, iced it, soaked it, stretched it, worried about it, etc. It still hurt. But let’s face it, there was no way I was missing the marathon. The disappointment would have been much worse than the physical pain.

And I wasn't wrong about that.

I don’t know, and can’t find out, whether the bone was already broken at the starting line. All I know is that it was plenty broken by the time I reached the finish line. Broken and sprained (not to mention a few blisters).



Pretty, right?












This is where I must stop and thank my running partner Tara. She got me through the race. I never could have done it without her. Tara, YOU ROCK!

















I was the first NYC TNT runner ever to go from the finish line to a wheel chair. So, I’m a minor celebrity among the NYC team – I should say I was a minor celebrity. I think my 15 minutes are up. But it was fun while it lasted. Ramon, the head coach, steered the wheel chair through the airport like a pro (pro race car driver, that is -- weeeeeeee!) and my friends all offered to get me home.


(Above: Me with my coach/wheelchair driver.)

In the end, Caroline got me to my apartment and saw that I got inside safely. I had to go up the steps on my butt. She wished she’d had her camera. I was glad she didn’t. (Below: Me and Caroline the night before the race.)


















Caroline also got me to the doctor the next day, and I owe her a lot for all of her help since then. Ramon's support and funny voice mail messages helped a lot too. And Rob's thoughtful phone call to check up on me. And Maura, as always, checking in to make sure I'm taken care of. I'm sure I'm leaving people out, and this is starting to sound like an acceptace speech at an awards show, so I'll leave it at that. (Go TNT! Woo Hoo!)

Speaking of awards, I was honored and amused to receive the "Coach's Pick" award from Ramon at our celebratory "Misbehaving Party". I'm pretty sure that, had I not broken my foot, they would have had to come up with some creative award for me like "The girl whose name I just learned" award, or "girl whose Mom came to practice one day" award, or maybe the "you ran this race with us?" award. I'm exaggerating, but it was fun to be recognized as a trooper... a hero... OK, let's just say it... a rock star.


(Above: My proudest moment! If only I could stand!)

But, like I said, my fifteen minutes are up. The team members have gotten back to their lives, the coaches have moved on to the next season's team, and I'm trying to move on too. But to what?

I can't get to the office because I have a hellish commute even with two working feet -- lots of stairs and subways. So I tried to work from home for the first two weeks, but it wasn’t working. Now I’m on short-term disability until March. And instead of sitting in my dark cave of an apartment (it really is a very nice apartment -- when you have the ability to leave), I’ve come to convalesce at my mother’s place in cold, snowy Pennsylvania. Lots of windows here, and no stairs.

I have spent a lot of time since the race looking at pictures from the trip to Phoenix, the race itself, and the Misbehaving Party afterwards. A Lot Of Time. I think it might even be fair to say too much time. It's hard to let go of an experience that was so incredible and meant so much. And I've spent four weeks trying and failing to come up with words worthy of describing it. There are no words. But at least there are pictures.

There you have it: the nutshell version.

(See below for more thank yous!)

I must also thank my mother for flying all the way to Phoenix to spend the day driving around trying to figure out where she’d be able to see me next along the race route. Must have been a ton of fun. And thanks, Mom, for taking all the great pictures of me pretending not to be in pain! Oh, and for fetching me ice all night long after the race.


(Above:Me with Mom after the race.)

Also, huge thanks to my dear friend Lee and her beautiful daughter Charlotte, for driving my mother around all day and for opening their home up to my mother for the night. It was great seeing you – I with I could have stayed longer!


(Above: Lee and Charlotte)

More pictures:


Above: Me with Mom, Lee and Charlotte -- my own personal fan club!


Above: Me with my awesome mentor, Maura.


Above: The NYC TNT Team, morning of the marathon!


Above: Me, changing shoes before the marathon.


Above: Ramon checking my foot the night before -- it looked fine!.


Above: Some of the team at the Victory Party, after the marathon.


Above: Our sexy coaches.


Above: Me with Caroline at the infamous "Misbehaving Party" -- I did as much misbehaving as the next guy, broken foot and all!


Above: Me with mentor Rob -- an amazing mentor for all of us. And very tall. (And I don't hold the fact that mine was the last name he learned against him -- much.)


Above: Me with the best coach ever!


Above: Tara and Caroline holding up my real trophy!