Mixed Feelings

I have had the strangest mixed feelings as the move to Ohio approaches. For the last year, it seems, all I could think about was getting myself to grad school. So much so that I barely made a point of living much of a life here at my mom's. I didn't try to meet new people. I barely socialized with the people I know. I just taught voice lessons, worked to make the grad school thing happen, and watched a lot of DVDs.

But somehow, now that it's time to go, I'm feeling surprisingly sad about leaving. Part of the reason is that usually when I move away it's because I'm miserable where I am. But I'm not miserable here. I'm quite comfortable. I love my students and hate to think of losing them. I have my routine, sad though it may be, of studying all day, going to the gym, teaching voice, and then watching DVDs with Mom and Zack – and I'm quite comfortable with that. Content, you might even say.

So it feels strange to choose to leave a situation that isn't making me incredibly miserable.

Which leads me to another important point – how many people could move home and live with Mom for a year without being miserable? Not many people I know. It has made me realize once again how lucky I am to have a mother who will not only open her doors to me, but who does her best to make sure that I'm comfortable while I'm here. I'm not sure how I can ever thank her. I know I can never repay her (financially or otherwise). For now, I think I'll just make her a lanyard.

And then there's Zack. My little (not-so-little) brother. Twelve years my junior, he has pretty much taken care of me for the last year. He walks my dog when I'm too busy. He helps me clean the house on the days I'm teaching. He basically does all the really gross jobs around the house that no one else can face, in addition to anything involving hard labor: He mows the lawn, he takes out the garbage, he cleans the kitty litter, he moves the furniture, he cleans out the garage. But most of all, he's just fun to be around. He has a great sense of humor and enjoys the same movies and TV shows I do. And he's incredibly smart and already, at 23, has a great sense of himself. He also has a great sense of me. He certainly knows me better than anyone – better than I know myself. He helps me make all my really hard decisions. I suppose he probably helps me with the easy ones too – the phrase "Zack, do I feel like salad or a sandwich for lunch?" comes to mind, in addition to, "should we rent Arrested Development or The Office?" When our young cousin died this year, Zack was our rock. He is there when you need him. He is a really special guy, and I'm going to miss him like crazy. To quote Zack, "It's just going to suck."

Finally

I took my last final yesterday. Finally. Done with school. Grades so far look good. Only three weeks until I start graduate school, which I expect will make these prerequisites I've been bitching about all summer look like child's play. Check this out:

Mondays and Wednesdays
8:00 a.m. Neurology
10:00 a.m. Phonological Disorders
Tuesdays and Thursdays
8:30 a.m. Advanced Speech Science
12:30-4:30 Language Acquisition (just Tuesdays, but notice that this is a FOUR hour class!)

I'm sorry, but clearly the people doing the scheduling don't know me at all. This Neurology at 8 a.m. thing is not going to work. Who can I talk to about that? Needless to say, I'm a bit worried. My new roommate is a morning person (oh joy), and I'm hoping that she can help get me out the door, at least for the first week when my body is in shock at having to be up at that ungodly hour. If that doesn't work, I may have to plan to sleep on campus four nights a week. Preferably in the neurology classroom.

The good news is that, in addition to finishing my last final, I also moved all of my furniture to Columbus over the weekend, so that's another big job to cross off the list. Now I just have to get myself there and get settled next weekend.

Yes, that's me driving that 16' truck! Yikes! Get out of the way!

When I say that I moved all my furniture in, what I mean is that I helped as my (not-so-) little brother Zack hefted my furniture up the steep, narrow flight of stairs to my new apartment. I don't know what I'd do if he hadn't grown up to be so tall and strong.

That couch... up those stairs?!!!

I found a couch, chair and ottoman on craigslist for $150 the day before the move, and somehow, after some creative money juggling, worked it out to afford the moving truck rental and the new (used) living room set.

Here it is, after hours of steam cleaning, spot treatment, and then having to break off the legs of the couch to get it through the door of the new apartment:

New Living Room

me in my new HUGE chair

Zack, making the big chair look less big.

The chair is the first thing you see when you walk in the living room, which I love (can you tell that I love the chair?)

Kelly, my new roommate, has done a great job with the kitchen:

the new kitchen table Kelly found. she is recovering the chairs with the bright yellow and green fabric. very nice.


isn't it great?!

And here is my room, which looks very nice with the bedroom furniture my mom got for me years ago at an auction:

my room

look how nice the trunk my Grandmother refinished for me looks!

looks pretty nice!

view of living room from my room when the big double doors are open

view of my room from living room (the obvious problem with the big doors being open is that I'll have to keep my room clean -- we'll see how long that lasts!)

I'm very excited about the apartment. I think it already looks great, and it's just going to get better.

More to come.